humbled.

Today is my first day of spring break. I am not going on vacation, but I'm turning this into a vacation for my soul.

God revealed something to me today: I have not been letting His spirit in.

I have been living in fear of not being accepted by others. I am different than the world, but it's hard for me to not be able to relate to people anymore. I feel as though I can barely carry on a conversation with anyone anymore. My mind drifts and I'm not sure as to what. Each time I felt alone, I blamed it on the people around me.

Why weren't they including me?

Because I had checked out.

Mentally, physically, and emotionally I've checked out of my friendships. People have been letting me down lately, but that's no reason to ignore them or not talk to them.

I need to take a step back.

Instead of trying to pick the pebble out of a friend's eye, I need to take the boulder out of mine. God has humbled me today. I have not been surrendering my friendships to Him.

"Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up.

Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.

Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it on you, get along with everybody."

Romans 12:9-18

Discover the beauty in everyone. I have been struggling hardcore with not loving the people who don't have the same values as I do. I have been judgmental. This is the exact opposite of what Christ calls me to be.

It's all about the love.